Sunday, April 3, 2011

the complexities of a human (hoo-man)

I have discovered that I am immeasurably attracted to classical music in the night time. It provides a very nice cushion of sound that is pleasing to both my heart, and my soul. I had not realized this until tonight while I was sitting at my parents house and listening to it while doing some things for school on their computer.

It keeps me calm, quiet, thoughtful, and most importantly, it kind of relaxes me. A little anyways. Which is huge.

I discovered something else while I was dating Justin. I can't seem to ever entirely relax. Even in the presence (or arms) of someone I like, am attached to, or otherwise, I am not relaxed. Its not something I realized I had a problem with till he brought it to my attention.
So I started paying more attention and I've realized that yes, i am almost never relaxed. It certainly explains all the fidgeting and constant motion I always seem to have around. My mind is always active, and never stays quiet, and i have to forcefully make the decision to let go of muscle tension in my body whenever I try to go to sleep. Its not something I feel is incredibly important right now, but it definitely helped me understand why I can't seem to stop moving.

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